The March Of The Beanheads

I’ve always failed to understand the allure of Tim Horton’s. While I’ve been known to launch attacks of near genocidal proportions upon a box of doughnuts, I’ve never developed a taste for coffee. the concept of waiting in enormous lines several times per day for a beverage makes the prospect of my developing the coffee-zombie habit most unlikely.

Take all of this into account should you read on. I haven’t fallen prey to mistress beans’ siren song so I don’t fully understand it and I won’t attempt to try.

I pen this now due to the astonishment I feel when driving past a Tim Hortons location. Often are the times that I am more than mildly annoyed at the appalling displays of driving that seem to be so prevalent near a Tim Horton’s. Is the addiction so strong that these seemingly mindless imbibers of it are prepared to risk their lives and the lives of those around them to get it?! Countless are the times that I’ve come close to hitting or being run into by a coffee drinker trying to get their vehicle into the lineup faster than the flow of traffic on surrounding streets will support. I can only assume that the drug must have dramatically debilitating effects upon one’s intelligence.

To add insult to injury I’m overwhelmed by the number of vehicles that can be seen sitting in line, engines idling, at the drive through waiting for coffee. It’s not at all uncommon to see as many as 20 vehicles queued bumper to bumper at the drug window. Are the debilitating effects of coffee so strong that it effects the limbs as well as the brain? I’m beginning to feel that there should be more studies done on this narcotic and it’s apparent effect on overall motor function. I would be greatly interested to see the results of a study on the effects of Tim Hortons locations on global warming. Seriously folks, ever been to Los Angeles or looked at picture of the skyline? That haze is as much from idling cars as anything else. The steps are simple.

1) Park the car
2) Turn OFF the car
3) Walk inside for coffee

Not only is it likely to be less frustrating than lining up with the other zombies.

I’m betting that it will even be faster.

blogged from my Treo 680 using mo:blog

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